The Avengers and the Shovel Talk
by FarGreenCountrySwiftSunrise
Summary: Loki and Darcy start dating and the Avengers have something to say about that.


Summary: Loki and Darcy start dating and the Avengers have something to say about that.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

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"Hey, Phil! What are you doing here?" Darcy said when Agent Coulson came by her desk.

"I just had some business in Avengers Headquarters today," Phil said, "How are you, Darcy?"

"Doing great. They are starting to switch me more to Avengers wrangling instead of just data entry. It makes me feel all grown-up and stuff," Darcy said, "And how are you?"

"Normal crazy with the team," Phil said, "Though I hear you have someone new in your life."

"Starting to, yeah. Are you going to warn me off the path of crazy?" Darcy asked.

"Oh, no. That would be out of place for me. If anyone has a problem with Loki, it would be me. However, I don't. I just wanted to tell you, I gave him the shovel talk," Phil said, "I have to go, but we should do lunch or something in the future."

"Um… thanks and sure," Darcy said.

"Have a good day, kid," Phil said.

&%&%&%

"Hey, Darcy," Clint said as he passed her in the hall.

"Hey, Clint. How are you?" Darcy asked.

"I'm fine. Listen; is it true you're dating Mischief Managed?" Clint asked.

"Um, kind of," Darcy said.

"Good. I would have almost felt silly if you weren't, but I really enjoyed it" Clint said as he continued walking.

"Enjoyed what?" Darcy asked with growing concern.

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"He's a bit twitchy but unharmed," Natasha said to Darcy when the assassin passed her at lunch.

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The god of thunder came to Darcy's office. "Ah! Lady Darcy!" Thor said. He gently slapped Darcy on the back. "How do you fare this afternoon?"

"I'm good. How's Jane?" Darcy asked.

"Well, quite well. Lady Darcy, I must tell you something," Thor said.

"Yes?" Darcy said.

"I must inform you that if my brother's heart is broken by you, I will make sure it always rains wherever you go," Thor said.

Darcy nodded. "Understood."

Thor smiled broadly. "Good. I doubt it will happen, for I am well aware of my brother's faults. He does not deserve you, Lady Darcy."

"Um, thanks. See you at movie night?" Darcy said.

"Indeed!"

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"Loki isn't harassing you, is he Darcy?" Steve asked when Darcy passed him in the hallway on her way to Stark's lab.

"No. Why?" Darcy asked.

"Just know that if you ever have any problems, be it Loki or anyone else, you can tell me and you won't get in trouble. I promise," Steve said.

"Um, thanks for the concern Steve. You're a good guy," Darcy said.

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"Hey, Tony, why is everyone threatening Loki?" Darcy asked.

"Because not a lot of people can give the shovel talk to a reformed super villain," Tony said, "And don't worry. I already did. Well, it was more of a missile shoved down his throat, but the general gist of it was the same."

"How do you guys even know? We are not even really together," Darcy said.

"It's my Tower. I have eyes everywhere, particularly when it comes to Loki. The Avengers may be okay with him being on the team, but our dear governmental Big Brother isn't," Tony said, "Besides, who have you talked to?"

Darcy told him.

"None of those people you should worry too much about. I mean, yeah, they'll enjoy beating the snot out of Loki for you, but they probably would do it for giggles too as long as Thor didn't catch them. Well, not Steve. Stevie is too nice for that."

"… Loki is talking to Bruce right now, isn't he?"

"You weren't supposed to know!"

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Darcy made her way quickly down to Bruce's lab. They had become close over the past few years, though the Hulk freaked her out the first time they met by saying her name. Since then, she kept a healthy respect for the big guy and a friendship with Dr. Banner.

Bruce and Loki were sitting across each other while in the full lotus position on the floor. Both of their eyes were closed, though Loki opened one eye when Darcy entered the room.

"Hello, Darcy," Dr. Banner said, "Loki and I were just discussing the benefits of meditation."

"It is quite interesting when the head of a hive mind is not attacking you," Loki said.

"I don't want to know, do I?" Darcy asked.

"No, you most certainly do not," Loki said.

"Come; join the dark side, Darcy. We have veggie smoothies," Bruce said as he smiled slightly.

Darcy sat on the floor and mimicked the two men's positions.

"I am not going to have the Hulk smash him, Darcy," Bruce said after a few minutes.

"Good to know," Darcy said.

"I would personally do it," Bruce said, "It would be the most relaxing thing I have ever done."

Darcy opened her eyes and glanced at Loki. He had opened his eyes as well. "Beware the anger of a patient man, Darcy."

"Please don't kill him. I don't know what Tony told you, but it is not like Loki has gone and impregnated me with a stomach-ripper vampire baby," Darcy said.

"It is just for future reference," Bruce said, "The two of you can leave. You talk too much."

As Darcy and Loki left, Darcy said, "Yeah, I think we are a couple whether we want to be or not now."

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A/N: Ah. Shovel talks. This was originally part of a larger story arc, but I found the larger story arc to be not worth saving.


End file.
